Homesickness, my old friend
Homesickness sneaks up on me. I rarely see it coming. My Homesickness is rarely for a place. The homesickness I feel is for people, for feelings of love and comfort. When we first moved here, I spent months and months with Homesickness as my constant companion. That aching in my soul was my reminder that Homesickness hadn’t yet left me.
It’s not that way now. Now, Homesickness sneaks up on me.
I got an email from my brother this evening catching me up on what’s going on with his family. And he mentioned that my nephew had his braces removed. I didn’t even know Zachary had braces. At all. How can I not know that?
And just like that, Homesickness came to visit me, tightening my throat, welling tears in my eyes, clenching my heart.
We live so very far from my family that I haven’t actually seen my brother and his family in person in more than two years. Eliza was only two and barely speaking when she saw them last. She talked to John on the phone the other day and handed the phone to me after a moment or two, saying, “I don’t think he knows who I am.” John and I laughed about it, and yet, a little piece of my heart broke.
My grandparents and parents and brother and his family all live in the same little town in which I grew up. It’s a sweet town about 1,000 miles away from here. It’s perfectly reasonable that we haven’t made the trip there or that they haven’t made the trip here. We’ve got four grown-up schedules and two kids schedules to coordinate, and that’s rarely workable. But it’s sad.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to live in the same little town as everyone else. And I love living so close to Mike’s family. But sometimes, that’s sad, too.
Mike, Chuck and Stacy all grew up together. They have this wonderful history. Stacy’s family lives close by, and Mike has that long family familiarity with all of them, too. And our kids are all creating those same bonds now, which is an amazingly wonderful thing. But sometimes, I’d like that feeling of history myself.
Mike’s students interviewed him today for beginning interviewing practice, and he said someone asked if he was on an island and could only have one DVD tv show set, what would it be. I picked “Cheers.” Everyone should have a place where everyone knows your name. I commented on Bee’s blog today that I think Southerners have a real affection for nicknames, little tokens of affection that are ties that bind. Griff’s 10, and I called him “Boo” in public today. And he responded to it. I sometimes wish there were people closer to me who had that long-standing connection with me.
My brother and his wife are having a baby. I don’t get to go shopping with Nicole. And Griff doesn’t get to tease Zachary about being a big brother. And they’re picking names without our input. Not that they’d care that they’re naming my precious niece after a character on a stupid Disney show. Not that I care. She’s going to be fabulous, of course. You know, unless she’s a he. And then, he’ll be groovy as heck.
Either way, this long-awaited child is going to grow up not knowing me, much like my children are growing up not knowing my brother. And I adore my brother. Griff and Eliza are missing out by not being able to interact with him. Griff’s so much like John… this tender, sensitive soul. Not much in a rush, gonna do things in his own way and in his own time. But oh, how wonderful are the things he does!
And I didn’t even know his son had braces. I didn’t even know.
Mike’s gonna have to scoot over further in the bed tonight. I’m pretty sure Homesickness is going to be sleeping with me tonight.
Filed under Most Everything | Permalink |Tagged with: Family • Homesickness • John
6 Responses to “Homesickness, my old friend”
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((hugs))
I understand in some ways. We live by Lee’s family but not mine. Mine all lived here but have moved away. My son barely knows my parents. My sister has a baby that we barely know (she’s 3).
All this mobility stuff stinks sometimes huh!?
Yeah, it does! And while Mike’s family is fabulous, I do miss mine.
I feel for you. My brother lives about 6 hours away from us, but we still see them a few times a year. That must be really tough.
Please tell me they’re not naming their child Miley. Please?
We were six hours away when we were in Louisiana, and that actually was pretty do-able. A few times a year sounds quite perfect at this point.
John responded to you… no Miley for us. London.
But come on, admit you thought of that incipid “Suite Life” show. Of course, once she’s here, I’ll never think of anything but her when I hear London.
“No dysfunctional mom”, not Miley, but London.
The golden brother would blow a fuse if we named the child anything related to Billy Ray Cyrus. Weeeeooow, Miley would be my nightmare name.
I’m still holding out for the Deuce.
And sis, you’ve gotta quit writing these little tearjerker blogs for real. I saw the pic and then read the homesick entry and nearly lost it.
Well, around here, we’re calling him or her The Deuce, if only for kicks. And I miss you like crazy.
i’m totally with you. homesickness has been visiting me lately too. hang in there.
I’ll bet! You’re even farther away than I am. And sometimes, don’t you get tired of just hanging with your husband? I mean, seriously?
I’d get tired of me, too, after a while.
Come on, now, I didn’t mean it that way!! I just meant I’d like a girlfriend to go to the Hallmark store with!
Sorry you are feeling this way. I know just what you mean. I hope you get a chance to visit despite the miles sometime.