Did I get ditched in a sad way or used in a nice way?
This time last year, I was so excited to have a friend at work. Now, we didn’t have anything (seriously… not much of anything) in common, but we clicked well, and I was grateful. Now, we’re friendly, but we’re not close. And because I like to be honest here (likely more so than any of my handful of readers would like), I have to admit that hurts my feelings. I’ve tried really hard to figure out a way for her ditching me (see, a little bitterness) to make sense. But I haven’t been able to do that.
And then last week, I was thinking about how this particular girl wasn’t the only one to move on. If I think about it, I’ve had numerous encounters with various girls (women, whatever) at work in the two years that I’ve been there. And as I was thinking a week or so ago about my two years at this job, I was reminded again of how secure I am in the belief that this is where God would have me.
So, then, maybe, it isn’t that this girl ditched me. Maybe, instead, it’s that God put the two of us together at a time when each of us needed something that the other could provide. If I think about some of the other women who have crossed my path - asked me very personal advice despite me not thinking we were nearly close enough for them to ask me such things - then I think that it’s possible that God caused each to approach me for a reason.
This month’s “Today’s Christian Woman” magazine has a series of articles about spiritual gifts. I’ve never been real sure what my gifts are. You know… the list in the Bible is pretty slim pickins.
Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines. (1 Corinthians 12:7-11)
Seriously, now. Could He not have given out gifts of sending cards when someone’s sad? Or how about the gift of taking someone a nice baked good? The gift of listening? Really. Throw me something possible. Prophecy? Not so much.
One nice thing about this series of articles is that it does touch on other spiritual gifts, and I appreciate that. Just for kicks, I took a spiritual gifts test at ChristiaNet, and these are my scores.
- 100% Hospitality (Acts 16:14-15)
- 78% Exhortation (Acts 11:23-24) (I don’t even know what this is.)
- 67% Wisdom (James 3:13-17) (I’m thinking not so much.)
Ok, I looked up exhortation, and it means … this gift enables certain Christians to stand beside fellow Christians in need and bring comfort, counsel and encouragement. I can see that.
I’ve always wanted my house to be a place of comfort, where people felt welcomed and safe and content. One thing I don’t like about our Florida lives yet is that we don’t have people in and out of our home like we did before. I enjoy that. So hospitality feels like a good gift to me, one that I can easily and comfortably use. I have to assume that the ability to make people feel comfortable extends beyond my house and into my work life and might contribute to the myriad of confessions I’ve heard in these two years.
And exhortation seems like a big word for just being kind to people. But I’m good with it.
A few weeks ago, a girl at work asked over the wall (cubicles, remember) and asked if I had ever read Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages.” I admitted that I had actually recently gotten it from BookMooch and had, well, not read it so much as took the quiz and then made Mike do the same. Took the quiz, got our love languages and sent the book on to someone else.
Mike and I both had our primary language as time spent together (or whatever the official term is), which I’m pretty sure is a result of our years together. Our second languages were not nearly the same. My second language is gifts. It’s a pretty petty language, you know. Gimme, gimme. But if I do unto others, so to speak, it matches pretty well with the above descriptions.
But anyway, several days later, another girl at work was telling me that the first girl had been telling her (confused yet?) about the book and that she thought my love language was service, which I would Never have thought. But how sweet that she thought that by watching my actions.
I’m not real sure where I’m going with this, other than to say that I’m grateful that there are different interpretations of the gifts God gives us. And I’m humbled to think that maybe God is using me where I am in ways I hadn’t imagined. And maybe I should look at the people passing through my life as gifts for the moment and not be unhappy when they move on. Instead, maybe I should eagerly anticipate the next person’s arrival.
Filed under Faith | Permalink |Tagged with: Friends • spiritual gifts • Work
6 Responses to “Did I get ditched in a sad way or used in a nice way?”
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What a great way to look at that! It sounds right-on, to me!
Thanks. I’m trying!
Oh I struggle with this as well. I am, at this time, in a place where almost all of my friends are out of state, whether real life friends or online. God moves people through my life quickly and I am learning to take that moment, pray for wisdom, and do my best in that moment or time before He moves me on to another thing.
Yep. It seems like all the girls I want to hang out with (except my dear sister-in-law, Stacy… I’d be lost without her) are states away. The distance has certainly brought me closer to Mike, but I do miss that girlfriend connection. But I’m working on that new perspective… trying to take things as they come, enjoying them for the moment without worrying (terribly hard for me) about how things will be in the future.
It seems like maybe you’ve underestimated yourself and the ways God can use you. I know from reading your posts that you tend to feel transplanted and out of your element, but clearly you have touched the lives of people around you (and across the blogosphere) from right where you are at this moment. Thanks for your honest thoughts.
You’re so sweet to say that. I’m sure I underestimate myself. It’s something I’m working on… trying to remember that not only is it possible that God might use me but it’s certain. He created me for His work, so He must be using me. And I am humbled by the idea that He might be using me to share His love with the people around me… or here on my blog. I’ve always wanted my blog to be very open and honest, a true reflection of who I am, be that good or bad on any given day. Thanks for thinking that’s a good thing!
I think God may be at work with you again. I have been thinking heavily about faith and all the spiritual stuff (see… stuff i call it, like it’s glop on the counter) the past couple of weeks. Well, maybe more like a month. I have been looking for something, anything really to read to help me work through some things. I come to your blog and I find links to some interesting sites I had not heard of and “whamo” i have more to read. So thanks.
Thanks for coming here to read and comment. I am always encouraged to think that God might be using me here on this blog. Amazed by the concept, admittedly. But encouraged.
I’m taking ‘whamo’ as a good thing.
Oh! forgot to make my other point. I have made freinds at work over the years and the friendships never quite seem to stick. I think maybe the work friends we make are often just that… “work friends”. We need someone to talk with to help us through the day but these same people are not necessarily who we need in our everday lives outside of work. That could be a reason for the freindships not turning into more or lasting for you.
I know that’s true. Really, I do. But I was spoiled. Three of my dearest friends are girls I met at work, at my former job. Now, it was a completely different situation because it was a Christian organization, so we all had that shared foundation. But I really was spoiled. I knew it then. I know it more now.
But I am trying to look at this as if God is sending different people to me at different times, and I’m trying to embrace what each can bring to my life and vice versa.
Interesting! As I was reading what you like to do, I thought “Sounds like exhortation or mercy to me”;)
And look at you at being able to figure out what I had to take a quiz to see!
I’m a bit of a mercy girl, now that you mention it.