Happy Birthday, Eliza!

Hi, there, precious. Happy 5th Birthday!!

I can hardly believe this is my fifth such letter to you! I know you’ll think it makes me sound old to say this, but it honestly is like I blinked and you were big.

Really… look at this when you were a year old … or this when you were two … or this from when you were three … or this from just last year! I’m astounded at how quickly the time is passing. I want some days to scoop you up and hold you so tight, to pull all of the energy and love out of my time with you that I can. I want to surround your little self with all of the love that your daddy, Griff and I can give you.

You are amazing, you know. You’re strong and brave and powerful, even if all that force is squeezed into a tiny package. You drive me crazy, of course, pushing all of my buttons. I can only imagine what we’re going to be like together in another decade. Your daddy dreads it already. Think of it, by then, Griff will be away at college & it’ll just be the three of us. Two strong-willed girls and Mike. Makes me smile, little chickie.

But to tell you the truth… the things that drive me crazy about you now are the things that I want you to really embrace when you’re older. You’re independent and determined to do things your own way. The fact that everyone else is doing something has little bearing on your decisions, which will serve you well as you get older if you can hold onto that.

You make me smile, Eliza. These last couple of years have been hard on us, me and your brother, especially. Last night, Griff told me that when he is angry or sad or upset, he thinks about you and he feels better. You don’t know it now, but that’s a really groovy thing.

As for me, I look at you, and you take my breath away. You are so beautiful. And you are so strong and spirited. And I am proud of you. When people say you look or act just like me, I remember that I should be proud of me, too. So I thank you for that reminder of the woman I am apart from just being The Mama.

I’m quite sure you know already that you’ve got your daddy wound around your little finger. I’m pretty sure he’s ok with that.

You crack us up these days. You like to sing everything like we’re all in some weird non-school version of “High School Musical.” You could live on sausage, popcorn, cheese and chips. You could eat your weight in sausage, frankly. Grosses me out. You have to take a stuffed animal or baby with you EVERYWHERE you go. You push that darned baby stroller all over the house with any number of babies in it, making such a racket! You like to pretend you’re a cat… drives your daddy bonkers, which makes Griff and me laugh.

I’m glad you’re still little enough to be sweet and give hugs and kisses and first-thing-in-the-morning snuggles.

We are endlessly blessed to have you. We are ever-thankful for Dr. A for seeing what needed to be done for you and for me and for doing it quickly and without hesitation. He’ll be getting birthday goodies himself today. Some day, when you’re bigger, we’ll tell you all about how he saved us. For now, just know that you are dear to us beyond words.

We love you, sweetie.

love, mama

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