Adrift in a sea of overachievers
It’s been a long weekend here in this work/weekend limbo. We’re not at work, but we’re several states away, so it’s not a normal weekend. I’m looking forward to Monday for a change, if only so we can get this week moving. My eyes are focused on Friday when we get to go home again.
I started my insurance career, if you want to call it that, on hesitant and unsure footing. And I hated that first job but was grateful for it nonetheless. I am encouraged about this promotion job. I want to do well in it. They said, I don’t think of this as a career, a life calling. This is a job that pays the mortgage. But I’m in class with the sweetest little group of overachievers.
One told me today that I needed to dress for the job I want, not the one I have. I want a job sitting home in my Jammies writing or making jewelry. I don’t think I can wear my jammies to work! But I was surprised. I forget that these women most likely have some career goals & that this is a stepping stone for them. For me, still just a job. A more enjoyable job, hopefully, but still just a job.
I was sharing at dinner that in my head, we’re done on Thursday after the final. Friday’s big negotiation doesn’t affect our grades, so I’m not worried. They quickly reminded me of why it is important & I was awash in the feeling of unpleasantness I associate with this job. They look at this differently.
I just want to pass, to give this my best effort (even if ‘best effort’ isn’t really something rewarded by our company) and get back home on Friday. I know it sounds lazy and unmotivated, but my goals ate all wrapped up in people I’m longing for right now, not in career results.
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