This Close to Being an SVU Episode

When I said I was planning to have my 38th year be one of gratitude, I hadn’t really expected quite such a harsh reminder of all we have to be grateful for in this life.

Eliza goes to daycare next to where I work… literally next door. Griff goes to aftercare at a church on Mike’s way home from work. Obviously, we each get our appointed kid on the way home. Eliza and I were home yesterday when I got a voice mail from Mike saying that he went to get Griff but he wasn’t at aftercare. He didn’t get on the bus at school.

It was one of those moments where your breathing stops and everything seems to still around you. I could hear the strain in Mike’s voice in the message, and Mike’s voice rarely sounds strained.

By the time I called Mike back, he had already made it to Griff’s school where the remaining staff informed him they hadn’t seen Griff since school. At that point, Griff had been MIA for nearly two hours. At the very least, we had others in our fear with us then.

I piled Eliza in the van trying not to say too much to alarm her. A freaked-out four-year-old is rarely is a good thing in a stressful situation, so I told her that Griff had gone on a great adventure after school and had just forgotten to tell us and that he must have gotten lost.

So we began to drive the routes between our house and his school. Mike and I took different paths, calling one another to check in… always with less than good news. We’re both well aware of the horrors that can befall a child alone in this world, and time, at that point, didn’t so much feel on our side.

 We were blessed to have his school’s complete support. Both of his teachers drove back from their homes to help with the search, and the principal and assistant principal both made calls to all manner of people to try to help find him. The secretary said she saw him walking down a certain street near the high school at 4 p.m., so we at least had a time frame when we called the Sheriff’s Office.

In some ways, it felt surreal. Driving around looking for our child on the sidewalk or in a ditch, like I’ve done when a pet got out of the house. And yet, it was so not the same. Calling the Sheriff’s Office like you see on tv, trying to remember what he was wearing that morning.

All the while, Eliza sat in the back of the van watching “Care Bears” on the dvd and telling me that she missed Griff and that we had to find him. And I kept thinking that I had no idea what would happen if it got dark and we hadn’t found him and what a big area we had to cover and how frightened he must be.

Wondering how on Earth I would explain it to Eliza if something bad happened to Griff.

I’m pretty sure God heard more from me, Mike, and Griff yesterday afternoon than He has in a while. 

Thankfully, someone from his aftercare found him (after he’d been missing three hours!), and he is safe. He was terrified (as he should have been), but he was safe. He took a much-deserved chewing out from his teacher when he got to the school, I believe, but we were too emotionally wrung out last night to do too much chewing of our own.

That’s not actually true, I guess. Mike did his fair share. Just as Mike’s rarely upset, he’s rarely angry. But when we found Griff safe, and Mike heard Griff’s story, I could feel the anger coming off of him. It’s true that as soon as the relief floods over you, the anger sweeps in.

Griff told us his story of how he and friend decided to skip their aftercares and go to some secret meeting at the high school (some three miles away). Unfortunately for Griff, his friend chickened out (smart kid, huh?), and Griff was left alone.

There are still holes in his story that we are attempting to fill with truth, but he is learning some important lessons from this. He’s learning (we hope) that honesty is always best. His friend isn’t telling the same story as Griff, and it’s hard for him to discover that this particular friend doesn’t always tell the truth. (Griff’s like me… he’s remarkably trusting.)

And he’s learning that there are reasons why we go to such great lengths to keep him and Eliza safe. And he’s learning that one person’s actions ripple out to so many other people.

He’s learning that when he’s alone, He can still turn to God. I’d like to say that God answered our prayers and sent Griff safely back to us. But I can’t help but wondering about the parents of kids who aren’t so fortunate… does God not answer their prayers? The children who don’t have the blessing of returning to their warn beds that night… did they not pray properly?

My heart overflows with gratitude for our Griffin and for his safety and for our family. At the same time, my heart breaks for the families all across this country who didn’t experience this same outcome as we did. My prayer of gratitude tonight is interwoven with a prayer of concern and mama fear for all of the other families and children.

 

 

 

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