Happy Birthday, Eliza!
Hi, there, precious. Happy 5th Birthday!!
I can hardly believe this is my fifth such letter to you! I know you’ll think it makes me sound old to say this, but it honestly is like I blinked and you were big.
Really… look at this when you were a year old … or this when you were two … or this from when you were three … or this from just last year! I’m astounded at how quickly the time is passing. I want some days to scoop you up and hold you so tight, to pull all of the energy and love out of my time with you that I can. I want to surround your little self with all of the love that your daddy, Griff and I can give you.
You are amazing, you know. You’re strong and brave and powerful, even if all that force is squeezed into a tiny package. You drive me crazy, of course, pushing all of my buttons. I can only imagine what we’re going to be like together in another decade. Your daddy dreads it already. Think of it, by then, Griff will be away at college & it’ll just be the three of us. Two strong-willed girls and Mike. Makes me smile, little chickie.
But to tell you the truth… the things that drive me crazy about you now are the things that I want you to really embrace when you’re older. You’re independent and determined to do things your own way. The fact that everyone else is doing something has little bearing on your decisions, which will serve you well as you get older if you can hold onto that.
You make me smile, Eliza. These last couple of years have been hard on us, me and your brother, especially. Last night, Griff told me that when he is angry or sad or upset, he thinks about you and he feels better. You don’t know it now, but that’s a really groovy thing.
As for me, I look at you, and you take my breath away. You are so beautiful. And you are so strong and spirited. And I am proud of you. When people say you look or act just like me, I remember that I should be proud of me, too. So I thank you for that reminder of the woman I am apart from just being The Mama.
I’m quite sure you know already that you’ve got your daddy wound around your little finger. I’m pretty sure he’s ok with that.
You crack us up these days. You like to sing everything like we’re all in some weird non-school version of “High School Musical.” You could live on sausage, popcorn, cheese and chips. You could eat your weight in sausage, frankly. Grosses me out. You have to take a stuffed animal or baby with you EVERYWHERE you go. You push that darned baby stroller all over the house with any number of babies in it, making such a racket! You like to pretend you’re a cat… drives your daddy bonkers, which makes Griff and me laugh.
I’m glad you’re still little enough to be sweet and give hugs and kisses and first-thing-in-the-morning snuggles.
We are endlessly blessed to have you. We are ever-thankful for Dr. A for seeing what needed to be done for you and for me and for doing it quickly and without hesitation. He’ll be getting birthday goodies himself today. Some day, when you’re bigger, we’ll tell you all about how he saved us. For now, just know that you are dear to us beyond words.
We love you, sweetie.
love, mama
Filed under Jewelry, Most Everything | Permalink | Comments (3)Tagged with: Eliza • Eliza's birthday • love
Planning my own…
One of my favorite “Designing Women” episodes was “Killing All the Right People,” not for its social commentary (though I do agree with it) but for the jazz funeral at the end. If you don’t know the episode (and geez, shouldn’t you? I mean, it was an amazing show!), one of the girls’ young friends - a man in his 20s - came to them and asked them to design his funeral. He knew he was dying and had the funds to redecorate a room in one of the local funeral homes. He knew exactly what he wanted, and when they showed a short scene from his funeral at the end, it was just as he had envisioned.
I love the idea of people gathering, not only in sorrow but in joy, to celebrate a life. Right before Eliza’s birthday each year, much to Mike’s chagrin, I tend to think about my own funeral, what it would be like. (For those of you who haven’t been reading here long or don’t know me in real life, Eliza’s entrance into this world was a bit sudden and completely due to her mama being too sick to continue carrying her.)
When I think about it, I have the usual Chel worries… would anyone but Mike and the kids show up? I mean, sheesh, my grandparents won’t fly anywhere, and my brother hasn’t left Arkansas in years. … would Mike think to tell those people I knew and loved so long ago in high school? would he even know who they are?
But most times, I just think about how non-traditional I would want it to be. Cremate me. Skip the church. Have everyone meet in Central Louisiana at a great Mexican restaurant, drink margaritas and tell stories about me. Have someone not a minister give my eulogy. Let everyone tell how silly and obssessed and whatnot I was. In my head, people make Mike laugh.
My sister-in-law, Nicole, is expecting my newest niece. I’m praying about her so often these days because I’m just terrified for her. Mike reminds me that the number of women who die or nearly die in childbirth is incredibly low these days, to which I respond that both Mandy and I nearly did, and that’s pretty much my frame of reference. He hugs me, smiles, and tells me to get over it, that Nicole and baby London will be fine, even if I’m still gonna be crazy.
I’ve pretty much, mostly given up the guilt associated with Eliza’s untimely entrance into this world - on my dad’s birthday - and now I’m just so very grateful to have been given this second chance at life. I am grateful to spend more and more days with Mike, to be able to love these kids, to be blessed by the best of friends. I’m grateful to have a soul-sucking job that I am only moderately good at… to be close to family and cousins for the kids… to have the chance to love and hate all of the little and big things of life.
In the end, I hope my funeral would be full of people who have loved me, who have felt touched in some way by my life (you know, preferably a positive way). I think we can’t possibly know how many people that might be… two or 10. But I know that I’ve been blessed by countless folks through my life. Around Eliza’s birthday, I tend to want to make sure those folks know how wonderful they are & how much I appreciate them. But they probably get tired of the ‘i’m glad i didn’t die & geez, you’re wonderful’ email every year.
So, to all of you… I’m glad I didn’t die, and geez, you’re wonderful.
And at the funeral, you’re gonna have to buy your own margaritas. Try the salsa. It’s yummy.
(My brother, who didn’t comment, sent me this song, saying it was perfect for this post.)
Filed under Faith, Jewelry, Most Everything | Permalink | Comments (2)Tagged with: Designing Women • Eliza • funerals • Gratitude
Wordless Wednesday - love jewelry
It’s jewelry of love. A friend of mine at work asked me to make something for his wife for her birthday. For reasons they can’t really control, they live far apart from one another, and he wanted something special. The whole set… necklace, earrings, bracelet… all in green, her favorite color. And he gave me sayings he wanted on the piece, all in Spanish. It had the date of their wedding, the name of the song played at the ceremony, both of their names, and the phrase ‘One love unending.’ At least I think that’s what it says. My Spanish is limited to Dora phrases.
Either way, so sweet.
Filed under Jewelry | Permalink | Comments (5)Tagged with: Dora • Jewelry • love
What do you think?
If you came looking for the Menu Plan Monday, here’s my plan for the week…
WING IT!
Yep, that’s it. Work with it. If you need recipes, go over to Org Junkie to find those. I’m thinking about other things. I won’t bore you with the details of those things right now, but one of those is something I need some opinions regarding.
So you get to vote. Be harsh. Don’t be kind here. That’s not what this is about. (My supe does these file reviews & I’m always telling him, ‘now, don’t be nice. Be as hard and mean on my files as you can because I want to learn this even if it means I don’t do as well right now.’ I think I confuse him a bit. Anyway.)
I’ve always wanted to write sappy love stories. I don’t, of course, but I’ve always wanted to do that. If I could do anything, I’d have a hard time deciding between writing sappy love stories, editing sappy love stories & making tons of jewelry. As it is, I make a little jewelry and write the occasional story.
Usually, the stories I write are for my friend, Mika, for Christmas. She’s a sweetie & always loves them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re any good, you know, as she loves me. (I actually found the first story I ever wrote for Mika just the other day in my hope chest. I may type it up and post it soon.)
So, here’s what I need. Click the “My Short Stories” tab at the top of the page, read a little or a lot of one or both stories & tell me if you think I should bother trying the NaNoWritMo in November. It’s intimidating but intriguing.
So read a bit. Comment a bit. Let me know what you think. Thank you, in advance.
Filed under Jewelry, Most Everything | Permalink | Comments (2)Tagged with: Mika • NaNoWritMo • short stories
These are your biggest problems…
My supervisor told me today that I was doing a good job, that I was a good adjuster. “Your biggest problems, from what I can tell, are that you’re underappreciated and that you have a lack of confidence in yourself.” Not a bad supe review, I think.
I finally made the name bracelet for Jendi as part of our swap, and I took it to work today to have my skinny minnie tester girl wear it for a bit, and I ended up with three beading orders as a result. Pretty groovy. I’m making a necklace/bracelet/earrings set for a friend of mine at work. He and his wife got married last October and renewed their vows at a big ceremony in July. He lives here… she’s still waiting for her paperwork to be approved, so she lives in the Dominican. Instead of names, he wrote a sweet saying in Spanish for me to put in letter beads. How romantic is that?
I’m going to answer all of the questions I got from my questions post in the next few days. If you’ve got any you didn’t see asked, go ahead. Get in your question & your chance to win my groovy earrings.
Now, I’ve gotta go watch the Shark Week episode of “Dirty Jobs.” How completely cutie patootie is Mike Rowe?
Filed under Jewelry, Most Everything | Permalink | Comments (3)Tagged with: beads • Dirty Jobs • Mike Rowe • questions • Work
