weebles

After my delightful trip with LeeAnn, I landed to a spinning world. Literally, my own personal little world has been spinning for more than two weeks. I made an appointment to see a neurologist near Orlando who specializes in balance disorders, and he was just crazy helpful (especially compared to the neurologist I saw for my migraines). He did some testing a week or so ago and determined that my on-and-off vertigo for the last five years has been due to an untreated virus that’s been dormant (or not, depending upon the day) in my system all this time.

And he was kind enough to put me on medication that’s helped ease the dizziness (except when it hasn’t). But he put me on this horrid sleepy med, and I feel like I’m gliding through my summer in a fog. I’m on the meds for three months, and I’m so hoping they clear this up permanently, but I’m frustrated and a little skeptical at this point.

I hate always feeling off balance, skimming the walls next to me with my fingertips so that I’m always in contact with something hoping not to fall down (like I did in the parking lot at work last week). I hate having to need other people so much, though I know that’s something I need to work on..

I had gotten to a point in my life where I was feeling so strong, so … good, in general. And then, all of a sudden, I was hit with this, and while it seems like such a little thing, I am frustrated by how strongly it has affected me. I went from running and feeling empowered by how well I was doing with the Couch to 5k program to barely staying awake until Eliza goes to bed. When I told Mike I wanted to start again, he said I had to prove that I could walk the block without falling before I could start running again.

I want the meds to work, and I want them to work just right now. I’m not very good at waiting. And the meds make me tired on top of the fatigue from the dizziness. And it’s summer. And I want to come home and play. But I’m not quite there yet. Mike said to me the other day that I was a little wobbly, like a Weeble. Except, of course, that the Weebles never fell down.

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