10 - Mike
Today, as all days, I’m thankful for Mike. I was so crazy angry with him yesterday but crazy in love with him, too. he is my best friend after all these years, the one I want to tell my good and bad stories. I just adore this man. I still believe God gave me better than I deserve, and I am grateful.
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happily happy … even ever after
Next week, Mike and I will celebrate our 16th anniversary. I am delighted to say that we will celebrate it happily. There were times during this last year when I wasn’t so sure.
Mike and I have always been easy. Things between us just flow. We have had difficult times… times when the world around us was difficult, when situations were difficult, when this or that wasn’t easy. But rarely have we had times when things between us weren’t easy. But this last year was pretty much one long exercise in not easy between us.
As I approached my 40th birthday, I had to do some looking at myself and my life, and I was unsettled for a time. In the midst of that, I had a man hit on me & I was flattered, I admit. And then for a period last year, Mike didn’t so much groove to me for reasons of his own. As I talked to my girlfriends about what I was going through, I was surprised (but reassured) to discover how many women in my age range were struggling with similar issues.
Choices we made 10, 15, 20 years ago that seemed reasonable at the time seemed to have snowballed into something unmanageable now. Sure, hon, I’ll take a job doing something I don’t love so you can pursue your passion but once you’re all established, I’ll switch to something more suited to me. You go get your degree & I’ll put you through school with the understanding that once you’re done, it’ll be my turn. Little sacrifices that made sense, that were supposed to be just the beginning in a tit for tat situation somehow turned into a lifetime of something else. Tit never turned into tat. Old habits turned into lifestyles. And too often, we looked up and wondered if we made the right choices.
But, blessedly, with some work, we ended the year as we began it… happily together. Last weekend, as I got a pedicure, the nail tech laughed after I told a story (because I will tell a story!) and said, “You’ve lived. I can tell in your laugh. You laugh so you don’t cry, to keep things together.” I thought that was the best compliment. Because we have lived, and we are laughing. And in some ways, I’m grateful for this last year, hard though it was, because it reaffirmed for me that this is exactly where I want to be. Even when it’s challenging, I want to be with Mike.
To be walking this path with him, to figure out this life as we go along… seems like a pretty good deal to me.
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it’s a happy happy
Today is the birthday of my very favorite person ever. I’m fortunate to get to spend my days with him.
Mike and I have been together forever these days. He was still in college when we met, fresh from a semester abroad. He was shy and unsure of himself but wicked funny and smart. I broke several of my own self-imposed dating rules when I went out with him, but I always loved a smart, funny man. It only took a couple of dates before I was hooked.
As great as he was then, he’s better now. Age is Mike’s friend. Today, he’s confident and secure and stronger than he would admit. We tease that I’m what holds our family together, but he’s what holds me together. He is patient and long-suffering (anyone living with me pretty much has that title). He is an amazing father.
And he’s still smart. And wicked funny. And I still really like that in a man.
Happy Birthday, Mike.
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very blue
Number 27 on my 101 Things in 1001 Days list was to take Mike to see the Blue Man Group in Orlando. He’s said since we moved here that he wanted to see them, but tickets are just outrageous. Last week, my sister-in-law sent me an email with discounted tickets for the BMG, and I bought tickets without telling Mike. I managed to keep the secret from him for three days (somewhat of a miracle for me). 
We had a lovely dinner with Chuck and Stacy at my favorite Orlando restaurant. As we were leaving, I asked Chuck how to get where we were going & he told Mike. One of the things I love most about Mike is that he listened to the directions not knowing where we were going. There’s something quite lovely about the trust that builds up over time. He was very surprised.
More than that, he had a really good time. It was obvious. For those of you who don’t know my Mike in real life, he rarely shows that he’s having a good time or is excited about anything. He’s the picture of a lack of emotion. So it was really groovy to see him having such fun.
If you get a chance to go, go. The drumming was wonderful, this deep pulsing that you could feel in your seats. There were strobe lights and general lighting changes and lots of multi-media interactions. All of which triggered my vertigo, and I ended up spending the last 30 minutes of the show in the lobby with a very sweet attendant. (I haven’t been that sick since I went to see an IMAX movie.)
But even with all of that, it was really groovy to surprise Mike. Maybe I’ll try again in another decade or so.
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vaca, vaca, dear vaca
Tomorrow, Mike and I leave on our first four-night vacation without the kids since before Griff was born. That’s right. It’s now been 11 years since we spent that much time alone.
Stacy kindly offered to keep the kids so Mike and I could take a trip for our 15th wedding anniversary. Our anniversary is next month, but by then, we’re well on our way to school and such. So this is the perfect time to go.
We’re going to go to art galleries and museums and outdoor concerts. We’re going to eat Chicago style pizza and sushi and seafood, and I’m not going to order from the children’s menu once (yeah, I order from the children’s menu & swap with Griff so he can eat a full size meal and I can still get the kid rate on the bill).
I’m going to set the temperature in the hotel room really cold at night and snuggle under the covers. I’m going to clip those hotel room curtains together so that it’s the darkest of dark, and I’m going to sleep way past 6:30 a.m.
Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?
I read an article recently that most marriages only last 10-15 years. We figure we should make the most of these next five. 
Tagged with: anniversary • Mike • vaca
