Numbers, numbers everywhere
I was going to write this post that’s been in my head a week or so now, but “Numbers” is on. Come on, now. Way more important. But a few quick things…
* Griff’s doing fine now. No residual affects.
* Chuck, Stacy and the kids are driving over tomorrow for a family birthday party for Eliza. Typing that reminds me I need to wrap some presents in a minute.
* A sweet friend at work gave me THE BEST compliment today. As several of them were discussing my age (again, with the compliments), she said that I have really good skin. Can you see the goosebumps from here? I’ve always been way too obsessed with having good skin. I couldn’t imagine a nicer thing for someone to say to me!
* In my never-ending quest to not suck at my job, I was delighted this week to get my numbers for September and to find that I scored a 4.9 out of 5. I was thrilled… right up until I realized that I hadn’t yet managed to bring up my overall number very much. But I’m working on it.
*Griff’s about half-way through the fifth Harry Potter book, and he’s not convinced that Delores Umbridge is evil. I love that kid.
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Wow Wednesday
A little bit of random good news around here today…
** Griff did well again today in school. Good on the stairs. Good recognizing the college kid who’s picking him up several days a week.
** My supervisor gave me my numbers today, and they were better. Woohoo! Now, they aren’t as high as I’d like them to be, but they’re getting better, and that’s what I’m going for, after all. I am now a 3.68 on a 1-5 scale. Yay, me!
** I did 1,600 spins on the Wii Fit Hula Hoop today. I kick hula tush. I even met my piddly little Wii Fit two-week goal a week early.
** We’re going to church on Sunday! Now, we have no idea where we’re going, but by gum, we’re going.
** Tonight, Project Runway is designing for drag queens. I mean, seriously, how fun is that?!
Filed under Most Everything | Permalink | Comments (2)Tagged with: church • Hula Hoop • numbers • Project Runway • Wii Fit
Numbers… and not the cute CBS show kind
At my work, we receive ‘report cards’ once a month. My new supervisor is not only new to me but to this particular supervisor role, so he’s been a bit behind. This week, however, he finally gave some of us our numbers.
I had been so excited to get them because I really feel like I’m doing so much better at my job. I’m less stressed, and I’m feeling more confident. In general, I know the answers to the questions people ask me, and I’ve got less people angry with me on the phone. I no longer have my ‘failure list’ of cases that I’ve messed up. That should count for something, right?
Unfortunately, my numbers weren’t great. My year-to-date number is a 3.4 on a 5 point scale. And I was so disappointed in myself. Discouraged. Frustrated. Why am I working so hard not to have it show? Not to have it help me?
Mike and some very gracious people at work have been trying all week to convince me that my number isn’t bad. I’m ‘above average.’ Come on. Who aims for above average? Oooh… Mom, I’d like to be 4 tenths of a point above average. Woohoo.
And numbers matter in my head. Numbers change things in my head. I can look in the mirror and feel beautiful only to step on a scale later in the day and feel horrible and ugly because of the number. My body - how I look - hasn’t changed. But numbers change things in my head. My attitude has been one of frustration and discouragement all week.
But I have to admit that I don’t so much enjoy that attitude. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m still discouraged and frustrated, but there’s not much I can do about the situation. We’ve known all along that this job didn’t particularly suit me, so it’s not a surprise that I’m still struggling with it.
But it pays the mortgage. And the insurance is great. And I guess the fact that I feel more confident is something in and of itself. I no longer dread going to work, and that’s a good thing, too.
People at work talk about how cheerful I am, and everyone’s been really kind this week as I’ve been upset. But I’m tired of being upset, so I’m just going to accept those numbers as what they are. I can’t change them, and I just need to keep going… keep doing the best that I can.
And try not to let these numbers change too much in my head.
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