My heart breaks… even as I’m thankful
I wrote last week about my friend, Mandy, and her illness. They did diagnose her with MS this week, and they began a steroid IV treatment Sunday evening. Her strength and coordination improved, as did her general alertness. There are, however, things that haven’t improved… things that concern us. 
Two weeks ago, my Mandy was the news editor of the fifth largest newspaper in the state of Louisiana. And she was really good at it. Today, she’s having difficulty completing a worksheet that most first graders could complete with ease. It’s startling and shocking.
It hurts my heart.
Now, MS is a notoriously tricky disease to deal with because it affects each person differently. My friend, Mika, has responded well to the MS drug therapies. Mike’s mom didn’t have those therapies as an option when she was diagnosed with MS.
We want the very best for Mandy. We love her unfailingly. I know Mike must be thinking about his mom a lot these days. I know we’re both thinking that we want things to turn out differently for Mandy.
I keep thinking about the similarities between Mike’s dad and Josh, men who now share a similar path. Mike’s dad is hands down the most compassionate individual I have ever met. He nurtured and carried for Lillie (Eliza’s named after her paternal grandmother) even when Lillie was angry and upset and unhappy to be cared for at all.
Josh talks about reading that MS patients are often angry with their caregivers. I saw that in Lillie. I want to tell Josh that won’t happen, but I don’t believe that. Josh is like Jerry in more ways that he knows. He’s more prepared for this journey than he thinks, though I surely understand his fears. I can’t bring myself to tell him that God won’t give him more than he can handle. It feels patronizing even if it is what I believe.
This is hard for everyone. Mandy’s mom is caring for little Olivia, who has to miss her mommy and daddy. Mandy’s mom has to be frightened for her daughter, for both of her precious little girls. Josh is missing his Mandy, even while she lies in the room with him. Everyone in this hurts.
I’m leaving work early tomorrow and flying back to spend the weekend. My friend, Linda, will pick me up at the airport, regardless of how long my layover in Houston ends up being (I always get stuck in Houston). She’ll drive me to the hospital where I will most likely stay all weekend.
Me being at the hospital with Mandy will allow Josh to go home and rest and play with Olivia.
I’m so thankful for the opportunity to go. I know it will be hard to be there, hard to leave. But I’m grateful to have easily found a workable flight, to have tax money coming in to cover the flight, to have a husband who cares about this enough to send me away for the weekend.
I am thankful that I am far enough removed from my period of doubt that I can say, even in this uncertainty, that I trust in my God to provide, to care for us all.
Filed under Faith, Thankful Thursday | Permalink | Comments (3)Tagged with: Faith • Mandy • Thankful Thursday
It’s a Thankful Thursday…
I’m having a good day… geez, how delightful is it to say that. So today’s an easy Thankful Thursday. Now, my thankfuls are kinda basic, but I think the basics are what make this life.
I’m thankful for…
- beads and wire and clasps and baubles
- Cracker Barrel biscuits
- the ability to help other folks at work
- 3.5 extra points and 2.8 pounds (more on that at a later time)
- asthma inhalers on cold days
- Diet Coke
- funny NBC Thursday night tv
- good teachers
- weekends
- fish who haven’t died yet in the tank ‘o death
- books
- little girl dreams
- ice cream surprises
- warm quilts
- Fridays
Tagged with: Cracker Barrel • Thankful Thursday
Thankful Thursday
It’s Thursday again. My week didn’t so much begin the way I had hoped, although to be quite honest, I don’t much know what I had hoped for this week.
Last week, Eliza had strep throat and I got my first promotion rejection. Now, I hadn’t really expected to get the promotion, and I wasn’t overly disappointed that I didn’t get it. But I was frustrated when I discovered that the really groovy job I had enjoyed for three months wasn’t exactly as conducive to my promote-ability as I was led to believe.
And then, I was asked by my manager and her manager to go to a section in the Miami division. I don’t have to go to Miami… just to the third floor. And I really didn’t want to go, but when the big guys ask, I’m a believer in saying yes.
And so, I’m in my fourth section with my fourth supervisor in less than a year. Frankly, I’m worn out. I know that being asked to do the previous job was a compliment, and I know that being asked to serve in this division is a compliment. I just have to say that sometimes these compliments are draining and stressful.
But, still and yet, I am thankful. Which brings me to this Thursday’s Thankful list.
* I am thankful to have a job at all. In this economy, that’s a big thing. And to have a job that pays the mortgage and has good health insurance is a very great wonderful big thing.
* I am thankful to have a husband who wants me to be happy, especially when I’m not.
* I am thankful to have a son whose little heart and soul are tender. He is loving and compassionate. (I’m also thankful for my Eliza, but Griff made an impression this week.)
* I am thankful to work for a company that is stable. I may not like the job much, but I’m not worried about the security of it.
* I am thankful for sweet forever friends.
* I am thankful for sweet new friends at work. A friend of mine at work told me that once you quit being desk partners with someone, you quit being friends. Ha. She’s never met me before. I’ve had a string of people traipsing down to the third floor this week to see me, to check on me. (The friend who told me this is one of the folks checking on me.)
These are not easy days. I am working to be sure that they are thankful days.
(And a quick random few thankfuls… the new Berry Chai tea at Starbucks, beads, tv, hope, Diet Coke, warm quilts.)
Filed under Thankful Thursday | Permalink | Comments (2)Tagged with: Thankful Thursday
Thankful nonetheless
It’s an odd Thankful Thursday here for me. Eliza has strep throat and is alternately too happy for her own good (thanks to the meds) and too cranky for my own good (thanks to the 102 fever spikes).
And I got a call this afternoon letting me know that I didn’t get the promotion I applied for at work. It seems that this really groovy position I’ve been enjoying for the last three months didn’t actually count toward my numbers and thus hurt my chances rather than helping them. Who knew?
But, still and yet, I have many blessings for which to be grateful.
* I’m thankful for doctors who take care of my babies when they’re sick. I’m thankful for the free antibiotics Eliza’s refusing to take and for the groovy Publix that provided them.
* I’m thankful for the people who encouraged me to post for the position at work, telling me I was qualified for it. Sure, they were wrong, but still. It was good for me to both have that support and to go through the process.
* I’m thankful for Mike who believes in me far more than I ever will.
* I’m thankful for tank tops and capri pants in December.
* I’m thankful that sweet friends of mine who are going through very different but both very difficult personal struggles both believe in God and know that He loves them and cares for them. I can’t imagine either experience without that.
* I’m thankful for the job I have. I kinda hate it, but it pays the mortgage and has good health insurance. And with today’s economy, I’m grateful for both.
* I’m thankful for two surprise orders for my jewelry in the last two weeks. It’s gratifying that people enjoy it and recommend me to other folks.
* And, as always, I’m grateful for Diet Cokes and brownies on hard days.
Filed under Thankful Thursday | Permalink | Comments (6)Tagged with: Jewelry • job • Thankful Thursday
Happy Thanksgiving!
We play this game at dinner where everyone - even guests - has to tell the best thing and the worst thing that happened to him or her that day. No one has to have a worst but everyone has to have a best because God gives us blessings every day. We just have to look for them.
When I look for them, I find lots of reasons to be thankful. I find lots of ways in which God has blessed me and my family. To list them would take all day. To list the majority of them would be stating the obvious …
- A loving family
- An amazing husband who loves me
- Kids who are completely fabulous
- A home
- A job with health insurance
But there are others, too, the fun thanksfuls.
- A Starbucks on the way to work
- Chick Fil A Fridays
- Good queso
- Holiday movies
- Beads for making jewelry
- Television
- A soft bed
- Hot showers
- LUSH
- pajama pants and tank tops
I could go on and on. Isn’t that a wonderful, amazing thing?
Have a wonderful, amazing Thanksgiving Day.
Filed under Thankful Thursday | Permalink | Comment (1)Tagged with: Thankful Thursday • Thanksgiving
