By the 15th

MONTH TWO - OCT. 13, 2008

Not such a productive month in terms of physical success, but I think the mental success has been wildly over the top. I’ve figured out that exercising is worthwhile in and of itself. Well, not really. It’s worthwhile outside of a desire to lose weight. The stress and poor ergonomics at work make the carpal tunnel bad & my shoulders hurt. The yoga helps with that a lot. And that’s a good thing.

Also, when they had the health fair at work a few weeks ago, I went to get tested for diabetes. My big fear is that I’m going to develop diabetes - because I’m overweight and have to pee a lot (Mike says that’s a direct result of the amount of Diet Coke I drink, but what does he know?). I was tested in the midst of not working at all to eat well or exercising at all, and my blood sugar was at 129 less than an hour after eating. The nurse assured me that’s really good. So that’s good.

A VALUABLE BREAK - OCT. 3,2008

I haven’t worked out in several weeks now. Between the discouragement I initially felt at the one month mark and the busyness of life, it was easy to let it slip. But I’ve gained back the measly three pounds. More importantly, though, my shoulders ache. I know it’s tension and the non-ergonomic setup at work, but I wasn’t havent any problems when I was working out. The yoga was helping to keep those muscles stretched out. And that is a better reason for me than trying to lose weight ever could be!

QUICK UPDATE - SEPT. 20, 2008

When I gave blood last week, they checked my cholesterol. It’s down to 183. Not bad in a month, huh? Down from 200.

ONE MONTH - SEPTEMBER 13, 2008

It’s been an interesting month. I’ve been more aware of what I’m eating and of how much I’m exercising. But it’s been frustrating, and instead of thinking about my weight once a month around PMS time, I’ve thought about it all month.

I didn’t lose as much as I had hoped, but I think I have a better idea of what I need to do next month.

So, here’s the tally… I’m at 197.6, so I lost three-ish pounds. I’m hoping for more next month. I’ll update the other stats later.

THE CURRENT PROBLEM - AUG. 23, 2008

Like so many things I begin, this venture began so well. Lots of fruits and veggies and whole grains, all of which I enjoy. Kicking people’s tushies on the Wii Fit hula hoop. Having a good time, full of positive thoughts.

And then, it happened. My hormones kicked in. Thanks to PMDD, I am, for lack of a kinder term, stark raving mad for about two weeks a month. Now, the descent happens slowly enough, giving me the illusion that I’m handling everything well and doing ok. I’m a tinge crabby one day and having trouble concentrating, but still feeling ok. But by the next day, I’m completely unhinged. And that’s with me ON the medication my doctor prescribed!

Everything feels overwhelming, and I’m horrible, horrible, horrible on myself. Frustrated, unhappy, certain I’ll always be a cow. All of this gels into a messy set-back with healthy living - slash - lose some weight. And with the water weight and all, I’ve put back on the pounds I lost last week. ugh.

I’m thinking that I may need to revise my short-term goals from bi-weekly to monthly. That way, I can have the mid-month insanity without it ruining my motivation.

AND SO IT BEGINS…

So here we are. August 13, 2008. It’s my 14th wedding anniversary.

I like to begin all new things on beginnings of some sort or big events of some sort. Today made sense to me. Mike’s not thrilled, but come on, after 14 years, he should be accustomed to it.

So this is what I’m doing. I’m not thrilled about it, not excited about it, not really encouraged by it. But nonetheless. I need to lose some weight. A lot of weight, quite frankly. Looking at those wedding pictures from all of those years ago, I hardly recognize that skinny little girl. But even then, that skinny little girl had body image issues.

And while I’m not over those by any means, I am happy with who I am now. And even some days, how I look. What I’m not comfortable with is the possibility that my weight could affect my health negatively in the future.

Today, my blood pressure is fine. My thyroid is fine, whatever that means. My cholesterol, however, is high. Not scary, kickin over tomorrow high, but high.

So… I’m going to work on losing weight. Exercising more (God bless the Wii Fit!!) and eating healthier. I already like lots of good foods. I just have to work hard at pacing myself. At regulating what I eat without feeling like I’m depriving myself.

I’ve set what I feel like is a reasonable goal. I would like to lose 50 pounds in the next year. By our 15th anniversary, I would like to be 50 pounds lighter. Now, Mike suggested 30, and I countered with 40, both of us knowing I would stick to my original 50. I’m like that.

My kids are old enough now that I need to set an example for exercise, and I need to help them develop healthier eating habits. So now is when I’m doing this.

What I’m not going to do is:

• give up ice cream
• talk endlessly at work, at home or here about dieting and weight loss
• become obsessed
• expect to lose the entire 50 pounds by Christmas
• allow myself to think badly about myself if I don’t make this goal or that or even the big 50 goal

What I will do, for reasons I can’t really fathom yet, is to post my progress here. I’m even going to post real numbers (shudder … that’s a LOT of honesty, even for me!!! and if anyone laughs at me in my comments, I’ll find your house and sit on you.) along with photos.

So now I’m going to post the initial number and photo right now before I lose my nerve. (Oh, and I’m still figuring out this multiple pages in Word Press thing, so for now, I’ll just add updates at the top. I’m thinking once every two weeks or so, maybe once a month.)

(Taken August 12, 2008… 200 pounds, BMI 36.72, cholesterol 200)

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