I was lucky enough to celebrate with Stacy, her mom, and her sister last weekend with a super spa day. It was such fun to join in as family really gathered together to focus on Stacy, a woman whose life deserves a bit of joyous celebration.

So, for today and all sorts of days to come, I wish you many happies, Stacy. love you…

Monday - Creole Pork Chops and rice… In the Crock-Pot… it’ll cook all day and be ready when Eliza and I get home from Girl Scouts… yum

Tuesday - lemon pepper chicken with cousous and carrots

Wednesday - roast beef with carrots and potatoes

Thursday - loaded baked potatoes

Friday - pizza… always pizza on Fridays

Mike and I began talking with my brother a few months ago about us making the trip for London’s birthday, and we agreed not to tell the rest of the family. Now, anyone who knows me knows I’m not a very good surprise keeper, so it was a big deal that I managed not to tell, but I did.

Eliza got to make her first flight, and when we arrived in Arkansas Friday night, my kids got their first look at snow. Saturday morning, I took a photo of all four kids (my two and my brother’s two) and emailed it to my parents. That’s how they found out we were in town. Then, my brother, Griff and I paid a visit to my grandmother. She hadn’t seen Griff since he was eight. It’s a wonder she recognized him at all.

Her reaction was worth every penny of the plane ticket.

While we were hanging out at my parents house, I wandered through at one point and noticed how everything was perfectly in place, even though they had no idea anyone was coming to visit. I mean, Perfectly In Place. Seriously. And initially, I felt a little envious. But  then, in the quiet of that back room, in the stillness and the perfection, I thought about how that room is always still and perfect… and quiet.

And I thought about how my house - every single room of it - is never still or perfect or quiet. At any given point, there will be crayons on the floor, dirty clothes draped on top of the crayons, open books on the sofa, dolls on the tables, dirty dishes in the sink, unmade beds, towels in the dryer. Try as I might to go green, a light somewhere will be on unnecessarily, and someone will probably be yelling at someone else. Moments late, however, both of those someones will probably be laughing and playing.

And I think that when my house is quiet, I will sorely miss the chaos. And I will hate having everything in its place.

Sunday - beef tip hoagies

Monday - (Mike will cook while Eliza & I are at our Daisy meeting.) Chicken and yellow rice

Tuesday - Spanish noodles with chicken and chorizo

Wednesday - brinner

Thursday - homemade corn dogs for Eliza

Friday - The kids are going to stay with the cousins & Mike’s taking me to see Wicked in Tampa as my early Valentine’s Day present.

I’ve been dizzy on and off for … well, for about three years now. It’s gotten worse … well, significantly worse, in the last month or so. I made a deal with Mike that I’d go to the doctor for it if he would go to the doctor about his funky mole (got the letter in the mail yesterday that it wasn’t cancerous). I’m terribly bad about not being willing to go see a doctor… I worry that I’m making my symptoms up or that they aren’t as bad as I think or whatever.

As it turns out, I wasn’t making them up and they aren’t a passing thing. My doctor had me do several balance and coordination tests, and I didn’t do very well on them. He had me go in the next day for bloodwork (extensive, if the amount of blood drawn is any indication), and I am scheduled for an MRI this Wednesday. The doctor said there are some pretty bad things that he wants to rule out before determining that I have inner ear problems with migraines. Thankfully, he left those possible ‘bad things’ unnamed. I don’t need specifics to worry about until I meet with him again. I’ll worry enough about the generalities, unfortunately.

But at least the doctor is moving quickly, and we’ll know something soon. I’m hoping he’ll be able to start me on something that will ease the dizzies. My casual lean against whatever wall I’m near at the moment is beginning to look a little less casual than I would like.

Back in the early summer, I got promoted at work… something I honestly thought would never happen. People talk about this new division as being the promised land at this company, and this job is better than the last. But I now see  that the idea of a promised land in this division is laughable. What we do is stressful. There is no way around it.

But I’m finding lately that the stress is really hard for me to negotiate. I am not given to enjoying middle ground. I’m a bit of an all or nothing girl. And I’m probably a bit of a bit of a perfectionist, though I hate to admit it. And this job is all about numbers. How did you perform today or yesterday? How did you compare to everyone else, regardless of whatever your personal situation was at the moment?

I don’t mind that the company has expectations of us, even if they may at times seem unreasonable. That’s the company’s right as my employer. What I mind is not being able to navigate the workload and the expectations successfully. Admittedly, this is my problem, not the company’s.

But all of this focus on the numbers just feeds into my own OCD obsession with numbers… the number on the scale, the number of years, the number of days I blog, the number of … on and on. This job encourages an obsession in me that I clearly see is unhealthy. In this life of mine, I need to focus on quality and not those numbers. But five days a week, I sit and am judged based upon the numbers.

My New Year’s Resolution was balance, and I’m trying really hard to take that to heart and to focus on the important and not the numbers floating in my head. It’s not easy because I want to be really good at what I do. But I also want to be a sane (reasonably) woman and a kind, compassionate, not stressed out wife and mama.

Now, I’m going to end my way too short lunch break and go back to the land of numbers. And try not to worry about mine.

Sunday -Homemade macaroni and cheese with broccoli and edamame

Monday - Mike and the kids are off, so I’ll have to plan a full day of meals for them. Breakfast … pancakes. Lunch … sandwiches. Dinner…corndogs with sweet potato fries (Eliza’s choice)

Tuesday -beef enchiladas (Griff’s choice)

Wednesday -Ria’s Chicken (Rachael Ray’s 30 Minute Meals cookbook)

Thursday - Payday. Going to the grocery store after work, so we’ll have paninis after I get home.

Friday - chicken and dumplins (Mike’s choice)

• onions, bell peppers
• olive oil
• chicken broth
• dried dill
• cheese tortellni
• chicken, cooked and chopped
• frozen spinach

Saute the onions and peppers in the olive oil with a bit of salt and pepper. Add the chicken broth and simmer for a bit. Add in the dill and chicken and simmer a bit. Add in the frozen spinach (just in the block as it comes out of the package… it will fall apart as it cooks) and then the tortellini. The tortellini will cook quickly . When it’s done, it’s ready to serve.

Ladle into bowls and top with freshly grated parm.

Sunday - cinnamon rolls for breakfast… crazy lunch… spinach chicken tortellini soup for dinner (yum)

Monday - spaghetti

Tuesday - choose your leftover night

Wednesday - homemade macaroni and cheese … a healthy version from the Food Network magazine. We’ll see how it goes.

Thursday - lemon pepper chicken with broccoli couscous

Friday - dinner out

Eliza wants lunchables every day for lunch (which isn’t going to happen), and Griff wants BBQ chicken calzones (which will). I’m going to make Flu Fighter Cookies from the Food Network Magazine to hand out for breakfast. Neither kid wants to eat breakfast these days, so maybe the lure of a cookie will be enough. I’ll omit the nuts and add extra dried fruit. They can snack on these in the car on the way to school. This post over at Cookie Madness points out that the cookies probably won’t really fight the flu, but it also notes that they taste pretty groovy.