being used…
As Mike and I were talking last night, I told him about a conversation I had recently in which someone told me that something I said had really made a difference to him, had enlightened him about something he was experiencing. I told Mike I didn’t really do much, other than share a shameful personal experience, to share something so that maybe I could show a different perspective.
Prior to the last six months or so, we’ve been out of church for a long time. And my personal Bible study and prayer time has been sporadic. Blessedly, several years ago, I worked through the feeling of being angry with God and of the feeling of worry that He was angry with me. But now, I must admit that the girl who so strongly supports the theory of grace is having a hard time accepting it myself. Not unusual given that Mike calls me the Queen of the Double Standard.
And that statement from this dear man I was sharing with last week made me feel very much like God just might be using me in his situation, and that wigs me out a bit because I am quite very much not worthy.
Mike, ever annoyingly logical, said, “You think He hasn’t been using you in these last few years? All of these young girls at work who go to lunch with you and who text you and chat you and tell you all of their problems and ask your advice… you think He isn’t using you in your answers to them?” I didn’t really have an answer for him.
I find myself at a point where moving forward with Christ is frightening to me. I am afraid of how He might use me, and I am completely overwhelmed by what He might ask or what I might do. And somehow I think that’s exactly the way it ought to be.
Filed under Faith | Permalink | Comment (0)Menu Plan Monday
If all goes well, this will be the first week of the new year that Mike has enjoyed every night of the week with us and not spent at least one or two of them at work. I forget how the Spring semester steals him from us. We’ll see how this week plays out.
I’m going to make an effort to post here every week and to link over to Org Junkie’s MPM post, hopefully to pop over there every Monday and see if I can pick up some new recipes. 
Monday - Eliza’s Girl Scout meeting means a quick dinner after the meeting and before bed, so I’m thinking turkey burgers. My new favorite thing is to spread the queso Laughing Cow cheese on a warm, toasty bun just before adding the turkey burger and fresh spinach. Yum-o.
Tuesday -A friend’s having dinner with all of us. I’m going to let Mike do most of the cooking on the grill. Hawaiian Chicken (pg 148 from the Jan/Feb issue of “Cooking Light”) with grilled pineapple and a mock version of the lime rice from Chipotle
Wednesday - dinner at church (We feed Eliza before the children’s and youth services… Griff eats pizza with the youth… Mike and I go out together while the kids are occupied. It still seems a little like we’re using the church for a free date night, but it seems as if they’ve designed it that way to provide that for the parents. For now, we’re going with it.)
Thursday -Sweet and Sour Pork (Jan/Feb “Food Network” pg 74)
Friday - BBQ chicken nachos (Thanks to last month’s Food Network magazine. We’re planning to work our way through as many the 50 nacho recipes as our kids’ allergies will allow. This is number eight.)
Obviously, I’m still working to try new recipes. I had gotten in a rut, feeling like we were always having the same things all the time. So I’m determined to try new things this year, and because I know it’s easy to forget things we’ve had once, I want to make sure to record them, so we can pop back over here and see what we’ve tried.
Filed under Menu Plan Monday | Permalink | Comment (1)the day after…
One of the advantages of having older kids is that the day after Christmas, when they’re playing with their new toys, they really don’t require my attention to do so. So now that family has flown home, I’m alone with a hot cup of chai enjoying a few peaceful moments.
This was, quite simply, one of my best Christmases ever. My brother and his family flew over on Wednesday, and we had the best visit. We did just exactly nothing. Pretty much. We had one toddler, one bossy seven-year-old, one mouthy 12-year-old, and one quiet 13-year-old to entertain us old folks. We stayed up late playing games, went out to get ice cream, drove around to see Christmas lights and got yummy pizza at the fun place downtown, and Nicole and I shopped and got mani-pedis. A groovy time was had by all.
And my picky eater nephew told me on his way out that the food was good.
My parents don’t speak to any of their siblings for various reasons, the most simple being that they just don’t agree on things, and my folks aren’t willing to abide by the agree to disagree theory. John and I and Nicole and I work hard to build relationships between ourselves and between our kids because we don’t want that to happen to us. Visits like this are good for all of us. I felt badly, though, because I know my grandmother missed all of us, wished there was a way that she and my grandfather could have been here with us all.
We were joined, however, by Mike’s brother and nephew and by our adopted grandparents here in Florida. Nana and Pops joined us for Christmas Eve lunch, and we all had a super time. As we talked about it later, John talked about how easy it was, which is characteristically unlike meals with our parents. He commented on how lovely they are toward us when they have no actual ties to us. How our own family really ought to be that way.
As I look across my neat and clean dining room/front room, I think about my brother saying last night at dinner that since they arrived, my house had exploded. And at that point, it did look a bit like that. It was the best explosion we’d participated in as a family in quite some time.
Filed under Most Everything | Permalink | Comments (3)Tagged with: Christmas • Family • love
24 - books
I have always loved to read. Eliza has a set of books that say “books are the magic ket that take you where you want to be.” I love that. I love how they transport me and encourage me and inspire me. I’m thankful to live in a place where all sorts of books are freely available to me.
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23 - grandparents
I missed a couple of days… here’s what I missed … 21… I’m grateful for clean water. So many countries don’t have access to clean drinking water. I take it for granted that the water coming from the tap is always clean and palatable. 22… Medical care that is extraordinary. We have doctors and nurses and pharmacists (my best friend’s husband is my on-call personal pharmacist all the time & I’m especially grateful for him) and testing and cures and treatments that were not available 10 or 15 or 50 years ago. And we are blessed by this.
Today, though, I am grateful for my grandparents. Today is my grandfather’s birthday, and I am blessed to still have my paternal grandparents still alive. I have known and loved all four of my grandparents. My maternal grandparents didn’t pass away until I was in my 30s. My kids are blessed to have grandparents who love them. They adore Mike’s dad and his wife. After Mike’s mom passed away, his dad was blessed to meet and fall in love with a wonderful woman who has become an amazing grandmother to our kids. My kids are also really quite blessed to have an additional set of grandparents in my sister-in-law, Stacy’s parents, who have taken us in here in Florida. They see Nana and Pops more than either set of their blood grandparents, and they love them just as much.
So, today, I am grateful for grandparents. All of them.
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